Season 5, Episode 5 - My New God
January 17, 2006

The Janitor asks J.D. to help him move but J.D. declines at first. Dr. Kelso, Jordan and Elliot tell J.D. to help the Janitor move and then The Janitor will feel indebted to him forever. J.D. gives in. J.D. arrives at The Janitor's Asian designed "house" and they bond by talking and drinking beers. J.D. feels they have a connection. Later, the real owner of the house, Mr. Kwan enters and J.D. realizes that he has been conned into robbing the house. J.D., holding a Buddha in his hand, takes off, chased by the cops and a K-9 unit dog.

Jordan invites Dr. Cox's sister Paige (guest star Cheryl Hines) to town for their son's baptism. Perry is upset that his sister is in town because he doesn't like to deal with her religious values nor their past. Dr. Cox introduces Paige to the staff. J.D. befriends Paige. Paige tells J.D. that she and Dr. Cox are not close. She then reveals that she's a born-again Christian, which bothers Dr. Cox. When J.D. asks Dr. Cox how he ended up with such a religious sister, Dr. Cox reveals that they were physically abused as children. Uncomfortable with this news, J.D. changes the subject and offers to escort Paige to the baptism, Dr. Cox declines.

At the hospital, Dr. Cox and J.D. tell their dying patient, Mr. Donnelly, that his acute respiratory medication is not helping and that there are no other options to save his life. Paige chimes in and tells them God may be able to help save him if they pray. Dr. Cox excuses himself and he and Paige get into an argument outside of the patient's room. The next day, Mr. Donnelly's vital signs are much improved. Mrs. Donnelly thanks Paige because she prayed with them all night.

Before the baptism, Paige and Dr. Cox watch football. Paige notices that a football player points up to the sky after making a touchdown and explains that he is thanking God. Tired of her religious comments, Perry demands that Paige agree that medicine, not God, saved his patient's life. Paige agrees, but continues to say that God created the medicine. At his wits end, Dr. Cox leaves and takes Jack with him.

After the robbery, J.D. ends up at the local bar and runs into Dr. Cox and Jack. Dr. Cox tells J.D. to take his son to the baptism. J.D. tells Dr. Cox that he doesn't understand why his sister's religious beliefs bother him so much. Later at the baptism, Dr. Cox tells Paige that seeing her brings back painful childhood memories but he is willing to give their relationship a shot.

Turk has two beepers; one for work, the other signals a baby-making alert. Turk's beeper goes off and when he shows up at the house he sees a less desirable Carla in sweats, on top of pillows and monitoring her temperature with a thermometer. Turk confides to Elliot that he has not been in the mood to have sex lately because Carla only wants to do it to get pregnant. After a big fight, Carla continues to have sex even though she's mad at him. Ironically it turns out to be the best sex Turk has had in a long time. Later, Elliot reveals to Carla that Turk has been making her mad on purpose to have good sex.